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Kids are bound to injure themselves at some point or another. Sometimes it’s a broken bone after taking a hard fall, and other times it’s nothing more than a bruise while messing around with their friends. But every now and again a child can cut themselves and believe it to be “no big deal.” Usually, that is the case, unless the wound becomes infected. This is something a parent should keep a close eye on because when a cut or scrape becomes infected, it can lead to much more serious health problems that no parent wants for their child. Knowing the signs of an infected cut and how your child may act when having one is crucial so you can get it treated as quickly as possible before it gets worse.
Most people believe wounds are only caused by accidents, but the truth is anything that breaks the skin is considered to be a laceration because when the skin is broken, there is a risk of germs getting into the body and causing an infection. Skin is the body’s largest organ and helps protect it from bacteria, fungi, and viruses that live on its surface. Depending on the wound’s cleanness, depth, and size, will tell you how much care it needs.
Your healthcare provider will examine the wound and from there decide how they will go about treating it and the wound’s risk of infection. Clean wounds that aren’t contaminated with bacteria have the lowest risk of infection, making them much simpler to care for. Dirty or infected wounds, like an abscess, a deep scrape, or a cut, are a different story. These cuts need special treatment and monitoring to prevent infection. There are times when a wound is clean but there’s a risk of infection because of where it is located. Fluids and other contaminants may get into a wound that’s in an area with more bacteria such as the urinary tract, gastrointestinal system, or respiratory system. Dirt or a foreign object in the wound also can increase the risk of infection.
An infected wound typically gets worse instead of better. Any pain, redness, and swelling will usually increase in intensity making it obvious that the cut needs medical attention. In many ways, this is a good thing that the signs of infection are readily apparent. The first thing you should do with most small cuts and bruises is to apply first-aid. After doing this, monitor the wound for any of the following signs.
If the cut has scabbed over, but the scab keeps on growing, this could be a sign of infection underneath the top-layer skin.
Monitor the cut and speak to your child about what they are feeling. It’s important to make sure that the pain and swelling don’t keep increasing up to 48 hours after the initial injury.
If your child develops a headache or fever, you should take your little one to an urgent care facility for medical treatment. Rest assured, the experts at Chai Care will gladly help!
Most small to medium-sized wounds should heal within ten days. If this is not the case, visit your child’s healthcare provider for further examination.
Increased redness in the region is also a sign of infection. One of the most dangerous signs of infection is the presence of redness that appears to be tracing a path to your child’s heart. This must be treated as soon as possible.
Pay attention to discoloration, such as pus and fluid emerging from the wound.
When the wound is clean, your healthcare provider will close it by stitching the edges together in two separate layers. They will use dissolvable stitches to bring together the deeper layer of tissue under the skin. Then they will staple, tape, or stitch the skin over it. It’s important to note that healthcare experts don’t always close a wound right away. If there’s a chance a wound is contaminated, they will leave it open to clean it out, let’s say in the case that the wound is due to an animal bite. Closing an infected cut can trap bacteria inside which would lead to infection. When they’re sure no bacteria or other impurities remain, they will stitch or close the wound.
Sometimes, it’s best not to sew up a wound at all. If someone has lost a lot of tissues, it’s often beneficial to leave the wound open to heal through natural scar formation. Your child’s provider will also ask about their tetanus vaccine status, to make sure it’s up to date.
Before healing begins, the body gears up to defend itself against any infections. For the first couple of days, a wound may be swollen, red, and painful. This inflammation is a sign of the body’s immune system kicking in to protect the wound from infection. It is important to always keep the wound clean and dry to help the healing process. As the body does its self-healing, a scab begins to form over the wound on the outside. The scab’s job is to protect the wound as the damaged skin heals underneath. Underneath the scab’s defensive surface, new tissue begins to form.
Once the healing is finished, the scab dries up and falls off, leaving behind the repaired skin and a scar. The scar will be roughly 85% of the strength of normal skin and it will take a few months for the scar to be back to 100% strength of normal skin.
Serious wounds won’t heal overnight. It can take weeks for the body to build new tissue which makes at-home care important to prevent infection and minimize scarring. Make sure to keep the wound covered with a clean dressing until there’s no fluid draining from it. Your child’s healthcare provider will give you instructions on how to change the dressing and how often. It’s important to avoid getting the wound wet until further examination. Dirt in the water could seep into the wound and contaminate it. Also, there’s a risk that a wound might pull apart if it gets too wet. Lastly, make sure your son or daughter doesn’t pick or scratch the scab. A scab may itch as the skin underneath heals, but picking or scratching can rip the new skin underneath which will not only increase the healing time but will always make the scar worse.
The best way to help your child is to prevent an infection from ever happening. Any time your son or daughter gets a cut or scrap, the first step is to clean out the injury. Clean the wound with warm water for five minutes, then wash the surrounding area with soap. If there is still debris like glass or dirt in the wound, remove it, but be gentle and avoid pushing down so you don’t push it deeper into the cut. If you can’t remove all the debris or if you don’t feel comfortable trying to remove it yourself, go to an urgent care facility and the staff will do it for you.
Cuts and scrapes are extremely common among children which makes understanding the signs and symptoms of an infected wound so important. Even though infected wounds can have serious consequences, chances are the cut will heal itself on its own or your child’s healthcare provider will supply them with the proper treatment and medication, preventing a dangerous outcome. If the wound does not seem to be healing at home, take your little one to Chai Care and our trained experts will supply them with the care they need!
* Legal disclaimer: The content of this article and the entire Chai Care blog is for educational purposes only; it does NOT constitute medical advice and must not be considered as such. Please consult a medical professional regarding any symptoms or health concerns you or your loved ones.Feb 13, 2023
All kids get a fever at some point or another. This may sound like a bad thing, but it’s good because it can help your child’s immune system fight the infection they are struggling with. Still, it’s important to make sure your son or daughter receives the proper treatment and care necessary to make a full recovery. Whether you’re an adult or a child, fevers are brutal to deal with, but fortunately, there are plenty of ways to avoid, treat, and prevent them!
We all have been with a person who is sick and asks to feel their head, checking to see if they feel warm. This is a common method to see if someone is “burning” up and has a fever. However, for it to actually be a fever, the body’s temperature must be 100.4°F (38°C) or higher. The various and most accurate ways of measuring a temperature are rectal, armpit, ear, forehead, and mouth. Adults sometimes get a slightly different number, so the number that means a child has a fever is a little different too.
Other signs that your child might be suffering from a fever would be having chills, cold sweats, flushed skin, above-average temperature, or acting differently. Due to the discomfort, they are feeling your child may become fussy or cranky.
Typically, fevers in kids are caused by an infection. The cool thing is that a fever will help the body by stimulating the immune system to fight the infection. Healthcare experts also believe the higher the temperature, the harder it will be for germs to grow. A couple of other reasons kids may suffer from fevers would be due to immunizations, a child who is teething, and believe it or not, overdressing. Infants, more specifically newborns, may get fevers if they’re overdressed, wrapped in a blanket, or a hot environment because they don’t regulate their body temperature as well as older kids.
Treating a fever with medicine isn’t needed if a child is still playing, drinking, and doesn’t have pain. You should supply your child with medicine only when a fever causes them discomfort or prevents them from drinking fluids. It’s worth mentioning that when your child does have a fever, keep an eye on them, help them to rest, and keep offering fluids. This is so they can make up for the fluids they lose from sweating. Oral rehydration solutions like Pedialyte, are a good choice. You also can give water, soup, ice pops, and flavored gelatin. Avoid drinks with caffeine, including colas and tea, which can make dehydration worse by making kids pee more often. Let kids eat what they want (in reasonable amounts), but don’t force it if they don’t feel like eating much!
Making sure your child stays hydrated isn’t the only thing you can do. Having them wear lightweight clothing and stay covered with a light sheet or blanket can also help. It’s important to remember to keep the room at a comfortable temperature and make sure they get plenty of rest. Staying in bed all day isn’t necessary, but a sick child should take it easy.
The temperature that should trigger a call to your child’s healthcare provider depends on their age, the illness, and whether they have other symptoms. In general, call their provider if your child is younger than 3 months old with a rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, 3 months or older with a temperature higher than 102.2°F (39°C), or at any age but has a health problem like cancer or sickle cell disease and has a fever.
In most cases, your child will be back to their old self within a couple of days. For older babies and kids, the way they act is more important than the reading on your thermometer or what symptoms they’re exhibiting. Don’t be alarmed if your son or daughter is a bit cranky when they have a fever. This is completely normal and should be anticipated, but if you are ever in doubt about what to do, or if your child is acting ill in a way that concerns you, the experts at Chai Care will happily take a look!
* Legal disclaimer: The content of this article and the entire Chai Care blog is for educational purposes only; it does NOT constitute medical advice and must not be considered as such. Please consult a medical professional regarding any symptoms or health concerns you or your loved ones.
Sometimes your child will be sneezing or wheezing, and you might shrug it off, believing it to be nothing more than a simple allergy. However, there is the possibility that your son or daughter may have a health issue – asthma. This can cause bothersome daily symptoms that interfere with play, sports, school, and sleep, making unmanaged asthma dangerous. Unfortunately, childhood asthma can’t be cured, and symptoms can continue into adulthood, but with the right treatment and by staying informed, your child can keep their symptoms under control and prevent damage to growing lungs.
Asthma is a chronic lung disease. It affects your airways and the tubes that carry air in and out of your lungs. When you have asthma, your airways can become inflamed and narrowed. This can cause wheezing, coughing, and tightness in your chest. When these symptoms get worse than usual, it is called an asthma attack or flare-up.
Typically, asthma starts during childhood, usually before the age of 5. Asthma is something many children suffer from and is actually the most common chronic disease in childhood. Depending on the severity of their asthma, it can cause children to miss school and even end up in the hospital.
Even though there are many different variables that may cause a child to suffer from asthma, a few of the most popular reasons would be being exposed to secondhand smoke when their mother is pregnant with them, genetics, and family history. Children are more likely to have asthma if one of their parents has it, especially if it’s the mother, or having other diseases or conditions such as obesity and allergies.
The most common symptoms of asthma are frequent coughing that worsens when your child has a viral infection, occurs while your child is asleep, or is triggered by exercise or cold air, a whistling or wheezing sound when breathing out, shortness of breath, chest congestion or tightness, and rapid breathing. It’s important to mention that your child may experience other symptoms that are disguised as something different and if these issues don’t seem to be going away, contact their healthcare provider.
It can be tricky to diagnose asthma in children, especially if they are toddlers. Asthma has similar symptoms as other childhood conditions and some children may not demonstrate symptoms very often, so it may seem like they are having respiratory infections instead. However, if your healthcare provider were to test your child for asthma they would do a physical exam, check your child’s medical history, take a chest X-ray, and do lung function tests. If you have a young child who cannot do lung function tests, their healthcare provider may suggest doing a trial of asthma medicines. This involves giving your child the recommended medicines for several weeks to see whether the symptoms get better.
Depending on the severity of your child’s asthma their treatment will vary. There is also a chance their allergist may prescribe them two different medications. The first is quick relief. All children with asthma need quick-relief medicine to treat coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, or an asthma attack. Your child should always have this medicine with them (typically an inhaler) and use it at the first sign of symptoms. The second is preventative controllers. Many children with asthma also need to take a controller daily to prevent asthma symptoms and attacks. Your child may need a controller if they are using quick-relief medication too often or frequently need oral corticosteroids such as prednisone for asthma attacks.
It’s best to take your child to their healthcare provider if you see any signs of asthma because early treatment will help control their symptoms and possibly prevent asthma attacks. If you notice coughing that is constant, intermittent, or seems linked to physical activity, wheezing or whistling sounds when your child breathes out, shortness of breath or rapid breathing, complaints of chest tightness, and repeated episodes of suspected bronchitis or pneumonia take your son or daughter to their provider for proper testing. If your child is diagnosed with asthma, creating an asthma plan can help you, family and friends monitor their symptoms and know what to do if an asthma attack occurs.
In severe cases, you might see your child’s chest and sides pulling inward as he or she tries to breathe. They might also have an increased heartbeat, sweating, and chest pain. Seek emergency care if your child must stop in midsentence to catch his or her breath, is using abdominal muscles to breathe, or has widened nostrils when breathing in. Even if your son or daughter hasn’t been diagnosed with asthma, seek medical attention if he or she has trouble breathing. Although episodes of asthma vary in seriousness, asthma attacks can start with coughing, which progresses to wheezing and labored breathing.
The best way to prevent an asthma attack is with careful planning and avoiding asthma triggers such as allergens and irritants that trigger asthma symptoms. Exposure to tobacco smoke during infancy is a strong risk factor for childhood asthma, as well as a common trigger of asthma attacks. It is also important to encourage your child to be active. If their asthma is well-controlled, regular physical activity can help the lungs to work more efficiently. Lastly, urge a proactive lifestyle. Being overweight can worsen asthma symptoms, and it puts your child at risk of other health problems.
Asthma is a tricky illness because, for some, it’s more serious than it is for others, and if your son or daughter is one of the lucky ones who only have minor issues, they can potentially evolve into more serious problems later in life. It is your duty as a parent to stay on top of it so your child can learn and adapt to any potential new symptoms, but not to worry, the staff at Chai Care will always be here to help your child with any everyday health issue that they find themselves facing!
* Legal disclaimer: The content of this article and the entire Chai Care blog is for educational purposes only; it does NOT constitute medical advice and must not be considered as such. Please consult a medical professional regarding any symptoms or health concerns you or your loved ones.Jan 10, 2023
It is no secret that men take great pride in being perceived as tough. What does this mean? Providing for their family, being mentally strong, and being confident—adult men put immense pressure on themselves to be the best versions of themselves but ironically, are not willing to do as much as they should.
According to leading experts, most men avoid going to the doctor. As silly as it may sound, these men would rather silently suffer or choose to believe that they can figure it out on their own, rather than taking a simple visit to a doctor. This is not only an unhealthy approach but is also not necessary. It is counter-productive to not utilize healthcare providers and physicians who can help supply proactive information on how to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s important to stay informed to live your best overall life – whether that be nutrition, exercise, or mental health.
Believe it or not, men die on average five years earlier than women. This may be due to the fact that men are typically more dangerous and bolder in their decision-making. This isn’t to say that taking a risk is a bad thing, just that men tend to neglect their health and at times ignore their own well-being, telling themselves they will eventually figure it out. However, the top three causes of death for men are (in order), heart (cardiovascular) disease, cancer, and unintentional injury. Besides suffering from an unintentional injury, this is crucial to know because if you monitor your health and make thoughtful decisions, the chances of you living a longer and healthier life drastically increase.
On the bright side, once these facts come to light, one can start their journey to recovery and begin to get their health back on track. Those modifications can come through proper diet, simple lifestyle changes, and if necessary, medical or surgical intervention. There is a great opportunity to improve lifestyle habits in many men. In the United States alone, men self-report numerous risk factors for poor health, which include smoking, obesity, binge alcohol drinking, and not exercising. Improvements in these areas will add years on to a man’s life and will improve mental health as well. Furthermore, social factors that may have a negative impact on health are serving in the armed forces, incarceration, and high-risk jobs such as construction, mining, and shipping. Men should be counseled about the potential employment-related hazards they may encounter in these and other jobs.
The simplest and best thing a man can do for themselves is eating clean. Yes, we all love a greasy cheeseburger and an ice-cold beer but in the long run, the key to a healthy lifestyle is feeding yourself food that your body actually wants!
There is a reason why you feel groggy and sluggish after a fat-filled dinner—it’s your body rejecting it and telling you that it would rather have something else. There is always going to be a certain vegetable or protein that you don’t want to eat. The great thing is we now live in a world where there is essentially an alternative to everything, allowing you to still indulge in your favorite guilty pleasures.
Dieting isn’t easy and for most men, it can be an excruciating battle. It’s hard to say no to a slice of pizza and not engage in “Taco Tuesday,” but when you lack good health, everything else suffers. Those extra calories are going to slow you down, you will have a harder time concentrating, and will even make you grumpy.
The key is to reward yourself, but only if you put in the work. There is nothing wrong with having a soda or eating a dozen chicken wings as you watch a football game, but doing this every day, that’s where you’re going to run into trouble. Most of your meals should consist of lean protein, organic vegetables, little carbs, and a lot of water. Boring? Of course, it is! But the results will have you feeling energetic and ready to take on the world.
A good strategy to take is setting a day where you know that you are going to want to lounge around all day and binge on your favorite foods—typically on the weekend. Life is meant to be enjoyed and part of the many pleasures we experience comes from a tasty meal. As good as it would be to eat these sugar-filled treats and salty snacks, the hard truth is that it is simply not doable. Setting a day where you do treat yourself will not only allow you to munch on your favorite foods, but it will also help teach the valuable lesson of discipline.
For some, clean eating is the tricky part and for others it is exercise. In today’s fast-paced world filled with social media and ten-second video clips, it is easy to feel uninspired when you check your phone only to witness how hard someone else is working which in turn will make you feel as if you are falling behind. There is no point in comparing yourself to how hard or little someone else works because they aren’t you and are not going through the same trials and tribulations. It’s best to stay in your own lane and figure out what works best for you.
Whether you enjoy working out in the gym or at home, the key is to just do it (Nike has a point)!. It’s so easy to say that you’ll start tomorrow. Tomorrow then becomes the weekend, that becomes next Tuesday, then suddenly, a month goes by, and you haven’t exercised a single day. No one expects you to work out like a professional athlete. Whether it be walking around the block for 30 minutes a day, or signing up for CrossFit, exercise is not only great for your body but your mind too. This is a time to be alone with your thoughts and listen to your favorite band or podcast, all the while giving your body what it truly needs.
Even though social media can be a distraction, it is also an amazing place to find information. Nowadays, you don’t even need a personal trainer because, with a few flicks of your thumb, you can find an expert who can give you quick and reliable information on how to get in shape. The best part is a lot of these people create exercises that you can do right from the comfort of your home!
No one said dieting and eating healthy is easy, but that is why it is so rewarding. It is a testament to yourself, a way of proving that through hard work and dedication, you can accomplish something that most men struggle with. The key is to be consistent and not allow yourself to fall victim to your guilty pleasures. There are many ways to stay active without “exercising.” Playing sports with your friends, taking long walks, and even certain interactive video games are awesome ways of being active without the intimidating need to enter a gym. Even though junk food and certain fast food options may seem more affordable, there are simple ways to eat clean without breaking the bank.
Getting started is difficult, but in the end, this journey is worth it. You will feel better, be a kinder person, and will drastically increase your health so you can spend more time with your loved ones. The time for excuses is over. No more saying tomorrow or that you are too busy. Look, we’re all busy and all have other things going on in our lives, but fortunately, the staff at Chai Care can supply you with healthy tips and methods on how to get your life back on track!
Pneumonia and Bronchitis are two illnesses that can have many harmful effects. Unfortunately, when children contract it, they experience excoriating pain and if gone untreated, there can be grave consequences. It is important to stay informed and understand the signs of these viruses and illnesses to prevent your child from having any long-term consequences.
Pneumonia is a form of acute respiratory infection that affects the lungs. The lungs are made up of small sacs called alveoli, which fill with air when a healthy person breathes. When an individual has pneumonia, the alveoli are filled with pus and fluid, which makes breathing painful and limits oxygen intake.
Pneumonia is the single largest infectious cause of death in children worldwide. Pneumonia affects children and families everywhere and even though we have amazing healthcare options in our country, our youth is still very much at risk.
The presenting features of viral and bacterial pneumonia are similar. However, the symptoms of viral pneumonia may be more numerous than the symptoms of bacterial pneumonia. In children under 5 years of age who have a cough and/or difficulty breathing, with or without fever, pneumonia is diagnosed by the presence of either fast breathing or lower chest wall indrawing where their chest moves in or retracts during inhalation (in a healthy person, the chest expands during inhalation). Wheezing is more common in viral infections.
There are several ways Pneumonia can spread. The viruses and bacteria that are commonly found in a child’s nose or throat can infect the lungs if they are inhaled. They may also spread via air-borne droplets from a cough or sneeze. In addition, pneumonia may spread through blood, especially during and shortly after birth. More research needs to be done on the different pathogens causing pneumonia and the ways they are transmitted, as this is of critical importance for treatment and prevention.
While most healthy children can fight the infection with their natural defenses, children whose immune systems are compromised are at higher risk of developing pneumonia. A child’s immune system may be weakened by malnutrition or undernourishment, especially in infants who are not exclusively breastfed. Pre-existing illnesses, such as symptomatic HIV infections and measles, also increase a child’s risk of contracting pneumonia.
Pneumonia is caused by several infectious agents, including viruses, bacteria, and fungi. The most common is streptococcus which is the most common cause of bacterial pneumonia in children. Hemophilus influenza is the second most common cause of bacterial pneumonia, followed by the respiratory syncytial virus which is the most common viral cause of pneumonia.
Preventing pneumonia in children is an essential component of a strategy to reduce child mortality. Immunization against Hib, pneumococcus, measles, and whooping cough (pertussis) is the most effective way to prevent pneumonia. Adequate nutrition is key to improving children’s natural defenses, starting with exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life. In addition to being effective in preventing pneumonia, it also helps to reduce the length of the illness if a child does become ill. Addressing environmental factors such as indoor air pollution (by providing affordable clean indoor stoves, for example) and encouraging good hygiene in crowded homes also reduces the number of children who fall ill with pneumonia. In children infected with HIV, the antibiotic cotrimoxazole is given daily to decrease the risk of contracting pneumonia.
If your child’s symptoms are getting worse if he/she has a fever lasting for a few days, breathing problems, trouble drinking fluids, and new symptoms such as neck stiffness or swollen joints, it is time to call your child’s healthcare provider.
Now, it’s time to talk about Bronchitis. What is acute bronchitis in children? Bronchitis is an inflammation of the large breathing tubes in the lungs. The illness can be short-term (acute) or long-term (chronic). Acute bronchitis means that the symptoms often develop quickly and don’t last long. Most cases are mild.
Acute bronchitis is most often caused by a viral infection. It may also be caused by bacteria or things such as dust, allergens, strong fumes, or tobacco smoke. In children, the most common cause of acute bronchitis is a virus. The illness may develop after a cold or other viral infection in the nose, mouth, or throat (upper respiratory tract). Such illnesses can spread easily from direct contact with a person who is sick. Children that are more at risk for acute bronchitis are kids that deal with chronic sinusitis, allergies, asthma, enlarged tonsils and adenoids, and exposure to secondhand smoke.
Your child’s healthcare provider can often diagnose acute bronchitis with a health history and physical exam. In some cases, your child may need tests to rule out other health problems, such as pneumonia or asthma. These tests may include chest X-rays, pulse oximetry, or sputum and nasal discharge samples.
Treatment will vary depending on your child’s symptoms, age, and general health. It will also depend on how severe the condition is. In nearly all cases, antibiotics should not be used to treat acute bronchitis. That’s because most infections are caused by viruses. Even children who have been coughing for longer than 8 to 10 days often don’t need antibiotics.
It is important to talk with your child’s healthcare provider before giving over-the-counter cough and cold medicine to your child. Most experts do not recommend giving medication to children younger than four years old because it may cause harmful side effects. For children between ages four and six, only use over-the-counter products when recommended by your child’s healthcare provider. It is also important to note, not to give aspirin or medicine that contains aspirin to a child younger than age nineteen unless directed by your child’s provider. Taking aspirin can put your child at risk for Reye syndrome. This is a rare but very serious disorder. It most often affects the brain and the liver.
At the end of the day, pneumonia and bronchitis are two nasty illnesses that are brutal to deal with, but very much treatable. If your child finds themselves struggling with either one, self-care is an option, but Chai Care would be your best option for treatment because our incredible staff of trained experts will supply them with quality care while offering top-notch advice on how to stay healthy!
For most people, apologizing is no easy task. Sometimes you may not even feel that you are wrong but choose to apologize just to keep the peace. The truth is telling someone that you are sorry is healthy for the mind, body, and soul. It’s a way to cleanse yourself of ego and self-manufactured pride and can literally make you a healthier person!
We’ve all had a huge fight with a friend. Whether you’re right or they are, no one feels good. Then comes the waiting game. Who is going to apologize to who? You find yourself in a game of chicken, anticipating a long, heartfelt apology but it never comes. The more you wait, the more tension builds.
If you’re like me, you start to begin feeling ill. This tension takes a toll not just on your mental health but on your physical health too.
It’s been weeks since the two of you have spoken and this pointless fight is now beginning to have real-world consequences. You’re having a difficult time getting out of bed in the morning, your old habits are now pointless and maybe even are abusing drugs and alcohol. That tension you originally felt has mutated into a rage monster and an apology will no longer suffice. All over what? A stupid little argument that you can’t even remember.
Yes, this is a situation that I went through years ago and deeply regret but was also an amazing learning experience. Even though that friend and I never forgave one another, I made a personal vow to myself that I would never do anything like that ever again. Not a single positive thing came from not apologizing and in fact, only made me worse for it. It may sound crazy but learning the ability to admit guilt and apologize for my wrongdoings has not only made me a happier person but a healthier one too.
There’s nothing worse than a disingenuous apology. These empty words feel more like a slap in the face than an admission of guilt and it is crucial to mean what you say and say what you mean. This person that you’re trying to make up with is a friend or a loved one which means they know when you are BS’ing them or not. If they get even a whiff of sarcasm or that you are in some way patronizing them, good luck because you’ll be sleeping on the couch that night.
Before you rush to apologize, a lazy way to get yourself off the hook, really listen to what the person is telling you. More likely than not, what they are saying can really benefit you. Whether they don’t appreciate your sudden burst of anger or your unhealthy lifestyle, this is a moment to not only say sorry but have a moment of reflection. This person cares and wants the best for you so don’t neglect their advice.
Outside of apologizing to others, many people (including myself) have a hard time absorbing an apology. Whether this is from childhood trauma or a manipulative relationship, it’s crucial to understand that this incident took place in the past and this person really cares about you. It’s extremely unhealthy for not just the relationship but your own mental health to let past experiences trickle into your current life. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t use past events to help navigate you through current situations, it just means you can’t let them control you.
Sometimes it really isn’t your fault. You make a genuine apology and listen to what the other person has to say and for some unexplainable reason, they don’t accept your words to be true. There’s no rhyme or reason to it so there’s no need to try and make sense of it because this person had already made up their mind before a single word left your mouth. Even though it’ll sting, this is another important lesson—how not to handle an apology. If someone isn’t emotionally mature enough to care when someone is being vulnerable and really trying to make amends, maybe it’s time to cut ties.
At the end of the day, no one likes to fight. Well, maybe the people who compete in the UFC do but that’s a different story. When you truly care about someone, expressing how you feel and swallowing your pride is worth it and will only make you an overall better person. Even those times when you feel that you have done nothing wrong, listen to what is being said to you because there will most likely be some wisdom to gain.